Reflections | Falling in Love

Bachelorette for life. My go-to battle cry whenever I’m single, mercilessly hunting down whatever handsome prey I can find, leaving no drink unturned and no challenge unaccepted. Bachelorette for life. My mantra as I shun the possibility of any unwelcome emotions or unneeded drama that could distract me from focusing on my career and achieving my goals. Bachelorette for life. My modus operandi as I fantasize about my Playgirl Mansion and live exactly how I want without having to accommodate or compromise. Bachelorette for life. A liberating concept, a fantastic dream — but ok let’s face it, the ultimate joke.

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Of course I want someone to take care of and share my life with and build a future with. Of course I want to get married and have some kids and a dog and some private jets. But just because I’m not rushing to drink the red Kool-Aid so I can puke rainbows and make my boyfriend overpay on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean I don’t want to settle down, it just means I don’t want to settle. And no, I’m not talking about not settling because the next Tinder-swipe might be hotter/smarter/sweeter/richer, I’m talking about not being in a relationship for the sake of needing another person to validate your worth. Ok so maybe being a bachelorette for life is not ideal, but there’s abso-fucking-lutely nothing wrong with being a bachelorette for now.

So live it up, love yourself, and remember the “Fuck Yes” theory. Proceed if applies.

Once Upon A Time…

Ah, Love. Amazing how something can be so awesome and so awful at the same time. My first love wrote hand-written letters to me every week for two years — then left me for heaven. I cried for 6 months. Another proposed to me in the most romantic way possible — then called off the wedding. I cried for 9 months. Yet another swept me off my feet when I least expected it — but here I am, single again. I still cry sometimes. They say smile because it happened, I say learn from why it ended. They say love like you’ve never been hurt, I say remorse is better than regret. God knows I’ve made a ton of mistakes in my relationships but the biggest one would’ve been if I never even tried.

Fall down seven times, get up eight. And since you’re going to fall anyway, at least fall hard enough to have some interesting battle scars to talk about. But stop looking back, because you’re not going that way.

Just me, myself, and my martini

Recently, though, I have learned to love again. And forget generic checklists, I’ll tell you how you know you’re really in love…

You know you’re in love when you eat Din Tai Fung and you drool over the delicious soup dumplings in front of you, feeling blessed that the restaurant is in your basement. You know you’re in love when you’re chatting with your family via FaceTime and you can’t stop taking screenshots on your iPad because you just want them with you, always. You know you’re in love when sweat is running down your face and your muscles are screaming in pain but it feels so damn good to know you’re getting stronger. You know you’re in love when your eyes brim with tears just thinking about all the wonderful people you’ve met throughout life and all the amazing friends you’ve made around the world. You know you’re in love when your heart bursts with happiness and gratitude not just on February 14th, but every fucking day. That, my friends, is Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Life. I LOVE YOU. ❤

Carol Chen

Avid Adventurer. Startup Hustler. Lover of Life

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